The sense of touch is one of the most visceral and direct ways to create intimacy with your partner. Talking is great, staring into each other’s eyes can be profound, but actually reaching out and having skin-to-skin contact brings both of you into the present now. When you are actually touching, for a time you are no longer two separate bodies, but one connected whole.
Massage can be a way to develop and nourish the meaning of touch between the two of you. However, with all of the books and professional services out there, it may seem a little intimidating to get your hands working on your partner. PassionateU has clips from some of the best instructors of intimate massage, and that can give you a head start when you’re wanting to try some romantic massage.
In fact, one of the best instructors, Bettie Rage, starts with the head and moves all the way down in a long series of instructional clips. One of the best parts about her work with PassionateU is that she doesn’t gloss over the sexy parts, giving very explicit explanation and demonstration of sensual massage for the genitals.
Bettie’s course is comprehensive, giving clear instructions on several different massage techniques used by professionals. She puts them into a more intimate context, however, keeping the focus on the “sensual” side of things. The purpose of the massage is to relax and focus on each other, after all, and that means that rather than worry about techniques you can focus on reading your partner, enjoying their body as much as they are enjoying your touch.
Shay and Stefanos have many videos on how to connect as couples, and part of their technique is to start slow and build intensity. They have many examples of how this technique can heat up the romance in a variety of ways, from sensual massage to making out to even having sex, but all of it helps to increase the desire between the partners.
Once the theory is put out there, though, Shay gets down to more practical skills as she demonstrates sensual massage as foreplay. She talks in this clip about how important a romantic environment can be, to take your mind out of the world and onto each other. Comfort is also essential, and Shay recommends some positions for both the giver and the receiver in massage to make sure everyone can relax. Finally she talks about various ways to touch your partner – even with some thoughts on the pros and cons various kinds of lubrication.
If you’re more interested in direct sexual contact, Yonilicious enthusiastically goes over several genital massage techniques in her series. If you don’t have time for a full-body experience, sometimes just a direct massage of the genitals can bring a couple closer. That may mean going all the way to a “happy ending”, or it may just be the pleasure of feeling intimate contact. Regardless, Yonilicious also talks about some thorough and specific techniques for massaging the bum as well – a great way to exchange massages with your partner
The renowned sex educator Jaiya has taught sensual touch to thousands of couples through her videos. Her philosophy is a great way to combine both the physical techniques of the other instructors with a psychological and emotional openness that can turn a simple touch into an amazingly profound experience. She explains how this kind of touch can not only be an amazing part of sex but also an end unto itself, helping both couples get attuned to each other in new ways.
Romantic massage is one of the best ways to re-ignite a connection between partners who may be overly familiar with each other. However, it’s important not to try and measure up to some external ideal of what the massage “should” be. Yes, it could be a deeply spiritual and mind-blowing experience – but it also might turn into a giggling ticklefest. Laughing together can be a tremendously bonding experience, as Dr. Ruthie explains in her “Dating Your Spouse” series.
One point that all of the educators emphasize is that your romantic massage should be for the two of you. It may be short, it may be hours, it may have fancy massage oils or it may just be a soft touch of a finger on your lover’s face as you drive the car. The romantic intent of connecting, of being open to feeling, that is what will make that massage special. It’s worth exploring the power of touch to bring you both closer together, and these clips have the ideas that can get you started.