Mar 102015
 

Courtesy Espen Sundve via Flickr CCIt’s both a big joke and also the most common insecurity for males in just about any culture. Ancient ukioy-e prints from Edo-era Japan show men with giant members, while the statue of David by Michelangelo has a tiny and almost withdrawn flaccid organ. Women can deflate the most bombastic man by just holding up their pinky, and at the same time “enormous cock” is almost a requirement of any erotica novel.

Obviously the size of the penis matters in a lot of ways, socially. What is probably more useful is to know this: does penis size matter to me or my partner? Like most sex education subjects, it starts out with communication, and talking about the penis can be a bit awkward. While his video is about hygiene of uncircumcised penises, Wintersong offers several techniques for using words that both partners are comfortable with as well as phrasing things in ways that are less likely to disturb your partner. It’s most important to make sure that they know from the beginning of the conversation that you care for them, and that any talk about their penis is separate from that.

Contrary to popular belief, having a large cock is not always a good thing. One issue that can come up is the possibility of banging the cervix during rough sex. That may be on purpose, such as when Danarama demonstrates it in his video, but women can vary widely on whether they actually enjoy the feeling. He spends most of the video showing how you can adjust the angle of penetration to make it happen – but what if the erect penis is so large in comparison to the vaginal canal that every thrust hits that very sensitive spot?

Jacq Jones has the answer – or rather, several answers – in her clip on sex tips for straight women: Fucking. Pillows or “liberator” cushions can angle the woman’s hips so that the cock enters either more shallowly or so that it pushes either above or below the cervix. You can also angle the woman’s legs in ways that adjust the “impact” – and that’s just for “missionary position” sex. If you switch to “cowgirl” (woman on top) or laying sideways or even “doggy style” you can often find an angle that will please both partners regardless of penis size.

Of course, Ducky Doolittle would quickly want to remind you that penis size doesn’t matter as much if you remember that penetration is NOT the definition of sex. “Sex” is many things to many people, but for all of them it’s much more about what is going on inside your head rather than down between your legs. When you expand your sexual experience into new modes of sensation – “…from the moment you get up in the morning,” then whether or not a penis is a big or small becomes just another facet in a grand mosaic of hotness.

It’s a good idea to get into that practice anyway, because one of the common myths about intimacy and agingaccording to Mim Chapman is the idea that “sex requires an erect penis. Regardless of how large or small a penis is, at some point during their lives men are going to experience it not syncing with their libido. That is, they can be filled with lust but have a completely flaccid cock. Mim explains that this does not have to be a barrier to intimacy – instead you can simply incorporate it into a larger erotic exploration of the body. Even when it’s not erect the penis can be an organ of pleasure, and in fact, there are a lot of things you can do with a cock that is only semi-erect that might not be possible with a full length.

For example: do you know how to deep throat? This is a common fantasy, and if it’s yours then you’re going to have an easier time fulfilling it if there is a smaller cock involved. That doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to learn with larger-endowed men – Reid Mihalko gives a very straightforward method (and demonstration) in his clip. Basically if you can re-create the feeling of yawning, you can get most sizes of penis all the way down your throat. And it’s not a bad idea for the penis-owners to learn the trick too – after all, that way you can teach your partner!

What it comes down to is that regardless of size a partner is going to like exactly what they like. In “The Sensual Blowjob” Naiia explains how she learned all of the specific parts of her partner’s cock that he liked stimulated as well as the parts that he didn’t – and then used her attention to find a few he didn’t even know about. Every cock is as individual as the person it’s attached to, and Naiia’s expert techniques are not intended to be “the way” to give a blowjob. Instead, they are a gateway to finding out exactly where your own pleasure lies.

“Does penis size matter?” It might, but it’s never as important as the pleasure and connection that you find with your partner through communication, exploration, and intimacy.

Dec 312014
 
This entry is part 5 of 5 in the series Sex & Disability

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In this clip Wintersong discusses various ways to get the same feeling of an activity with a partner without adverse effects by carefully selecting the right equipment. They give several examples of ways that creative exploration can work around the limitations of a disability.

Dec 312014
 
This entry is part 3 of 5 in the series Sex & Disability

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In a previous clip Wintersong talked about various questions for a partner to ask a potential playmate with a disability. But what should the person with the disability be prepared to discuss? This clip covers how to address some of the specifics as well as how to interpret the answers that you might get.

Oct 142014
 

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Gray and Poetic talk more in this clip about how cuddling can lead directly into sexual contact such as fellatio. They emphasize that communication and consent are essential, and also that there is no rush when you’re cudding. Whether it’s just an afternoon of stroking your partner or the beginning of some wild 69, cuddling can be a hot part of your sexy repertoire.

Oct 112014
 
This entry is part 4 of 8 in the series Phone Sex with Ashley Manta

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Phone sex can be hard work! Ashley goes over some of the items you might want to have on hand when you’re getting it on with someone from a distance. She starts with practical things – a hands-free headset, a charged phone, water to keep your moans hydrated – but also goes into more esoteric things like toys, dildos, and even kinky items to spice up your fantasy.

Oct 032014
 
This entry is part 9 of 12 in the series Amp it Up

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Anticipation and spontaneity can juice up your sex life in surprising ways. Looking forward to your lover’s touch, the sight of their body, the kinds of things you do together – that enriches what Ducky calls the “sexual imagination.” Spontaneity, on the other hand, is when you give in to your desire in unexpected ways that surprise your partner and yourself. Ducky gives several examples and then encourages you to find your own passion in spontaneity and anticipation!

Sep 282014
 

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In part 2 Graydancer and Poetic demonstrate how to play with hair when in a “blowjob position”. Aside from the enjoyable sensations of stroking, pulling the hair back can be both useful and enjoyable, whether it’s done lightly or forcefully. They go over several techniques on using hair to make sexy times even hotter.

Sep 232014
 

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Poetic and Gray talk in these videos about how to play with hair when you’re feeling sexy. Gray demonstrates how to avoid “Same-Damn-Spot” syndrome, and how having hair bound up tight in back can be a great way to communicate during a blowjob. They also talk about some of the ways you may have your hair bound up, and how to take them out – a skill as essential as undoing a bra strap!

Sep 212014
 
This entry is part 3 of 6 in the series GirlGasm Mythbusting

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Are you supposed to have an orgasm every time you have sex? Ducky Doolittle answers this question with an emphatic “No!” in this clip. She talks about having a broader definition of what sex is and also what it is for. If the goal is “to feel good” and “to be close with my partner” it can take a lot of pressure off both people. It also prevents the temptation to “fake” anything, which doesn’t do anyone any good in the long run.

Sep 122014
 
This entry is part 13 of 13 in the series Erotic Dancing

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Andre Shakti finishes up her long series on erotic dance with a quick overview of the subject so far and then some ideas for continuing your exploration. Dance can be part of foreplay, it can be an intimate experience in and of itself – but most of all, it doesn’t have to be something that only happens once.

Sep 072014
 
This entry is part 8 of 8 in the series Phone Sex with Ashley Manta

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Once the hot phone sex is done, there’s one more thing you owe your partner. Maybe not right after, but at some point you should have a conversation about how it went. Ashley believes firmly that absolute honesty is needed here – tell them what words turned you on, what ones didn’t, and listen to their own descriptions. Of course, this needs to be in a positive tone, and Ashley explains how to give and receive constructive and honest criticism. She also notes that it’s a skill that will serve you well in-person, too!

Sep 062014
 
This entry is part 3 of 4 in the series Double Blow Jobs

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Rita and Naiia show two more ways they do a double blowjob on Gray’s cock: kneeling in front of him and also having him lay on his back. They talk about how this becomes a more intimate experience for the two of them, taking turns as they go down on him and sharing his body with each other.

Sep 022014
 

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Yonilcious introduces birth control methods from a health care perspective during this five-minute, part-one video. She covers the pros and cons of several common methods such as condoms, diaphragms, Depo-Provera, and more. She continues her discussion in part two.

Aug 302014
 
This entry is part 7 of 8 in the series Phone Sex with Ashley Manta

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Ashley says it’s the most common thing she hears from people: “What if I don’t know what to say?” Luckily, she’s got a few different tactics for overcoming that kind of shyness. The first one involves masturbating, in fact! By the end of the video you’ll have no more fear of running out of things to say, because Ashley will teach you how to talk hot for as long as you want.

Aug 292014
 
This entry is part 2 of 4 in the series Double Blow Jobs

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In this clip Gray, Naiia, and Rita give a realistic perspective on how to try out various positions for a double blow jobs. No tricky porn-style editing – you get to see exactly how bodies move, and how communication happens. Gray also talks about a trick from Reid Mihalko, called “I have an idea!” that can make the whole experience much less awkward…

Aug 192014
 
This entry is part 6 of 8 in the series Phone Sex with Ashley Manta

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In this clip Ashley coaches you through one of the most important parts of phone sex: how you sound. She demonstrates how what you look like can affect how you sound (so you should smile!). Ashley also gives a few other tricks to use when you’re having your hot phone call.

Aug 102014
 
This entry is part 5 of 8 in the series Phone Sex with Ashley Manta

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Part of preparing for that hot phone sex session is making sure you’re in the right environment. Ashley Manta talks about how to set the scene not only in terms of distractions and privacy but also internally. She explains how to put yourself into the right mindset for phone sex, heightening your awareness of your body. Ashley also has some suggestions for how to heighten your lover’s awareness and anticipation of the big event.

Aug 082014
 
This entry is part 8 of 12 in the series Amp it Up

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Ducky often asks her audiences if anyone has ever received a compliment on their cock, their pussy, some intimate part. The reactions are often shocked, but there are a few people…and they always say it made them feel great. Ducky suggests in this clip both the reasons and the ways to affirm for your partner the things you like about them. After all, she says, if you don’t, who will?

Jul 312014
 
This entry is part 4 of 6 in the series GirlGasm Mythbusting

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You know those beautiful love scenes in the movies where both partners cum at the same time and then bask in the afterglow? Ducky’s here to let you know that’s not the way it happens most of the time – and that’s ok. She also explains why you probably shouldn’t settle for “simultaneous orgasms” anyway!

Jul 292014
 
This entry is part 7 of 12 in the series Amp it Up

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Communication is both one of the most essential and most difficult parts of a sexual relationship. Asking for what you want – or explaining to a partner how what you want may have changed – can be a tricky process. Ducky has some solid suggestions for how to make it easier and even fun, bringing flirtation into the process and helping you really get what you want out of your sexual relationship.

Jul 272014
 
This entry is part 3 of 8 in the series Phone Sex with Ashley Manta

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Do you like the word “moist”? How about your partner? Better figure it out before you have that hot phone sex session! Ashley talks in this clip about how important it can be to make sure you’re both aware of what kind of words, ideas, and fantasies turn you both on. She goes over several different areas, from the kinds of acts you want to talk about to the kind of grammar you’re going to be using, so that when you pick up the phone you are ready to keep things on the sexy side.

Jul 202014
 
This entry is part 3 of 3 in the series Slut Tips with Reid Mihalko

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In part 3 of his series on how to be an “responsible slut” (that is, someone who manages the emotional side of playing around with others sexually) Reid explains why unprotected sex is a bad idea for sluts. Outside of pregnancy and STI’s, leaving biological traces of yourself on others is a way to really fast track the kinds of attachments and psychological triggers for pair-bonding. These, in turn, make a slut’s life much more complicated, and so it’s a good idea to use protection for psychological as well as physical reasons.

Jul 182014
 
This entry is part 6 of 12 in the series Amp it Up

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Thinking of sex as simply penis inserted in vagina is very limiting, in Ducky’s opinion. She explains in this clip how sex is more a state of mind and an attitude. It’s all in the way you connect first with yourself and then with your partner, from the moment you wake up through all the actions of the day. It’s a very exciting viewpoint that she shares in this clip, and worth exploring for yourself.

Jul 102014
 
This entry is part 2 of 8 in the series Phone Sex with Ashley Manta

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Once you know that you want to have some hot phone sex, it can still be embarrassing to tell your partner. Ashley talks about some of the preconceptions and shame that can come along with the idea of phone sex, but she also talks about how to overcome them. She gives you some concrete examples of how to ask for what you want in a way that will establish boundaries, consent, and sexiness with your partner.