It’s both a big joke and also the most common insecurity for males in just about any culture. Ancient ukioy-e prints from Edo-era Japan show men with giant members, while the statue of David by Michelangelo has a tiny and almost withdrawn flaccid organ. Women can deflate the most bombastic man by just holding up their pinky, and at the same time “enormous cock” is almost a requirement of any erotica novel.
Obviously the size of the penis matters in a lot of ways, socially. What is probably more useful is to know this: does penis size matter to me or my partner? Like most sex education subjects, it starts out with communication, and talking about the penis can be a bit awkward. While his video is about hygiene of uncircumcised penises, Wintersong offers several techniques for using words that both partners are comfortable with as well as phrasing things in ways that are less likely to disturb your partner. It’s most important to make sure that they know from the beginning of the conversation that you care for them, and that any talk about their penis is separate from that.
Contrary to popular belief, having a large cock is not always a good thing. One issue that can come up is the possibility of banging the cervix during rough sex. That may be on purpose, such as when Danarama demonstrates it in his video, but women can vary widely on whether they actually enjoy the feeling. He spends most of the video showing how you can adjust the angle of penetration to make it happen – but what if the erect penis is so large in comparison to the vaginal canal that every thrust hits that very sensitive spot?
Jacq Jones has the answer – or rather, several answers – in her clip on sex tips for straight women: Fucking. Pillows or “liberator” cushions can angle the woman’s hips so that the cock enters either more shallowly or so that it pushes either above or below the cervix. You can also angle the woman’s legs in ways that adjust the “impact” – and that’s just for “missionary position” sex. If you switch to “cowgirl” (woman on top) or laying sideways or even “doggy style” you can often find an angle that will please both partners regardless of penis size.
Of course, Ducky Doolittle would quickly want to remind you that penis size doesn’t matter as much if you remember that penetration is NOT the definition of sex. “Sex” is many things to many people, but for all of them it’s much more about what is going on inside your head rather than down between your legs. When you expand your sexual experience into new modes of sensation – “…from the moment you get up in the morning,” then whether or not a penis is a big or small becomes just another facet in a grand mosaic of hotness.
It’s a good idea to get into that practice anyway, because one of the common myths about intimacy and agingaccording to Mim Chapman is the idea that “sex requires an erect penis. Regardless of how large or small a penis is, at some point during their lives men are going to experience it not syncing with their libido. That is, they can be filled with lust but have a completely flaccid cock. Mim explains that this does not have to be a barrier to intimacy – instead you can simply incorporate it into a larger erotic exploration of the body. Even when it’s not erect the penis can be an organ of pleasure, and in fact, there are a lot of things you can do with a cock that is only semi-erect that might not be possible with a full length.
For example: do you know how to deep throat? This is a common fantasy, and if it’s yours then you’re going to have an easier time fulfilling it if there is a smaller cock involved. That doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to learn with larger-endowed men – Reid Mihalko gives a very straightforward method (and demonstration) in his clip. Basically if you can re-create the feeling of yawning, you can get most sizes of penis all the way down your throat. And it’s not a bad idea for the penis-owners to learn the trick too – after all, that way you can teach your partner!
What it comes down to is that regardless of size a partner is going to like exactly what they like. In “The Sensual Blowjob” Naiia explains how she learned all of the specific parts of her partner’s cock that he liked stimulated as well as the parts that he didn’t – and then used her attention to find a few he didn’t even know about. Every cock is as individual as the person it’s attached to, and Naiia’s expert techniques are not intended to be “the way” to give a blowjob. Instead, they are a gateway to finding out exactly where your own pleasure lies.
“Does penis size matter?” It might, but it’s never as important as the pleasure and connection that you find with your partner through communication, exploration, and intimacy.