Anticipation and spontaneity can juice up your sex life in surprising ways. Looking forward to your lover’s touch, the sight of their body, the kinds of things you do together – that enriches what Ducky calls the “sexual imagination.” Spontaneity, on the other hand, is when you give in to your desire in unexpected ways that surprise your partner and yourself. Ducky gives several examples and then encourages you to find your own passion in spontaneity and anticipation!
If your partner has had sexual trauma, what is the best way to support them? That’s what Ashley Manta tackles in this clip, starting with her own experience of not-so-supportive family members. She outlines more constructive strategies for giving partners what they need – no more and no less. Ashley also recommends resources such as “Allies in Healing”, a book written for the partners of trauma survivors.
Are you supposed to have an orgasm every time you have sex? Ducky Doolittle answers this question with an emphatic “No!” in this clip. She talks about having a broader definition of what sex is and also what it is for. If the goal is “to feel good” and “to be close with my partner” it can take a lot of pressure off both people. It also prevents the temptation to “fake” anything, which doesn’t do anyone any good in the long run.
Andre Shakti finishes up her long series on erotic dance with a quick overview of the subject so far and then some ideas for continuing your exploration. Dance can be part of foreplay, it can be an intimate experience in and of itself – but most of all, it doesn’t have to be something that only happens once.
Megan Andelloux introduces bacterial vaginosis during this seven-minute video. She defines “BV” and then discusses the two main causes as well as several additional causes. Megan describes the symptoms of BV (and chronic BV) as well as the medical treatment options. She also recommends concrete ways to prevent bacterial vaginosis.
Ducky often asks her audiences if anyone has ever received a compliment on their cock, their pussy, some intimate part. The reactions are often shocked, but there are a few people…and they always say it made them feel great. Ducky suggests in this clip both the reasons and the ways to affirm for your partner the things you like about them. After all, she says, if you don’t, who will?
Communication is both one of the most essential and most difficult parts of a sexual relationship. Asking for what you want – or explaining to a partner how what you want may have changed – can be a tricky process. Ducky has some solid suggestions for how to make it easier and even fun, bringing flirtation into the process and helping you really get what you want out of your sexual relationship.
Do you like the word “moist”? How about your partner? Better figure it out before you have that hot phone sex session! Ashley talks in this clip about how important it can be to make sure you’re both aware of what kind of words, ideas, and fantasies turn you both on. She goes over several different areas, from the kinds of acts you want to talk about to the kind of grammar you’re going to be using, so that when you pick up the phone you are ready to keep things on the sexy side.
What happens when the outside partner’s arm is “trapped”? In this clip Gray demonstrates how some strategic pillowing can make for a more comfortable snuggle. He and Poetic also talk about how the finer details of the body position and hands can make all the difference.
Thinking of sex as simply penis inserted in vagina is very limiting, in Ducky’s opinion. She explains in this clip how sex is more a state of mind and an attitude. It’s all in the way you connect first with yourself and then with your partner, from the moment you wake up through all the actions of the day. It’s a very exciting viewpoint that she shares in this clip, and worth exploring for yourself.
In Part 3 it’s Graydancer’s turn to focus on his pleasure. He shows how a little lube and Naiia laying face-down can lead to some really enjoyable sliding of his cock between her ass cheeks. Naiia talks about the pleasure she gets out of it (more than you’d expect!) and they talk about how to integrate this kind of technique into your other sexy fun.
Anita Wagner completes her four-part series on sex addiction/compulsion with this four-minute video. She mostly discusses the role of the internet as it relates to sexual addiction and compulsion. Anita also suggests healthy personal and communal supports for anyone affected by sexual addiction and compulsion.
Graydancer and Poetic Desires demonstrate some of the finer points of cuddling when it’s for intimacy, not sex. Sometimes the closeness of cuddling gets overshadowed by awkward body mechanics, tiny discomforts, and even the idea that you might be “doing it wrong.” This series helps dispel the mystery so that you can relax into each other and enjoy snuggling like a pro.
Once you know that you want to have some hot phone sex, it can still be embarrassing to tell your partner. Ashley talks about some of the preconceptions and shame that can come along with the idea of phone sex, but she also talks about how to overcome them. She gives you some concrete examples of how to ask for what you want in a way that will establish boundaries, consent, and sexiness with your partner.
Anita Wagner continues her series on sex addiction and compulsion with this part-three, eight-minute video. In this video she provides a straightforward reflection on what it is like to be the partner of a sex addict/compulsive. Anita discusses the many ways that a partner may respond to the difficulties, and she suggests ways that may lead to healing. She also includes helps for recovery for the person with the addiction/compulsive. Anita finishes with an emphasis on what not to do.
As she works on her upcoming book, Miss Jaiya is living 40 days as a dominant with her partner and 40 days as a submissive. They are exploring the various skills, experiences, and lessons learned through this experience, and using it to create a new book. You can learn about some of her conclusions right here on Passionate U in the “What is Your Sexual Type?” clip, and in this one she is interviewed by Princess Kali about the journey.
One of the hardest parts of dealing with sexually transmitted infections is telling your partner about it. Ashley Manta tells about the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of communicating this vital information with her partners. She also lays out a solid plan for a “script” that can help make it easier, along with some advice on when to tell the person you are attracted to about your STI.
Reid Mihalko begins his discussion on tips for sluts – to help reduce emotional drama and upset – during this six-minute, part-one video. He suggests group sexual activities, carefully designed one-on-one experiences, clear communication, and more. Stay tuned for additional insights in Reid’s upcoming clips.
Kitty Stryker talks very seriously about the difficulties that survivors of sexual trauma can have talking about their experience. She covers concepts such as triggers, nonverbal consent, and the ways that two people can find a place of shared understanding and pleasure.
In this clip Mark and Patricia invite you to try changing up the way you breathe during sex. By first observing and then consciously breathing you can expand your pleasure. They also explain a few other fun ways you can play around with breathing, including the exciting and intimate “reciprocal breathing” technique.
Ducky reminds you in this clip that men aren’t from Mars, women aren’t from Venus – we’re all right here on Earth, and there are fewer differences between us than you’d think. In fact, one out of every two thousand babies is born “intersex” – with both sexual characteristics. She outlines just how similar men and women are, and also how the minor differences result in some pretty significant changes in how each sex gets aroused. Erectile tissue is the key, and Ducky talks about it in depth to give you a better understanding of the anatomy of desire.
In this segment Mark and Patricia talk about “the Big O”, but not in the usual way. They explain how the typical orgasm (for males, usually) progresses during sex, and then suggest an alternative. They explain how the tantric method can expand the power of the orgasm to create a psychological, physical, and even spiritual experience.
Patricia and Mark invite you in this clip to take on a more “experimental” view of your sex life. If you are looking to explore new things with your partner, they explain, there is a sense of play and fun. This keeps any possibility of disappointment from the experience, because it’s all in the idea of “Let’s see what happens!“
Kitty Stryker covers aftercare during this four-minute video. She discusses various aspects of aftercare: the logistics, different desires, necessities, communication/negotiation, and more. Kitty offers many practical tips to help improve your post-sexual experiences with your partner(s).