Ducky starts this video by explaining that only about 20% of women can have an orgasm from penetration alone. At the same time it is one of the most common questions women ask her. She gives several suggestions about muscle control and exercises that can increase your pleasure and the chances of an orgasm. Ducky reminds us, though, that if penetration feels good it is worth exploring whether you orgasm or not.
Anticipation and spontaneity can juice up your sex life in surprising ways. Looking forward to your lover’s touch, the sight of their body, the kinds of things you do together – that enriches what Ducky calls the “sexual imagination.” Spontaneity, on the other hand, is when you give in to your desire in unexpected ways that surprise your partner and yourself. Ducky gives several examples and then encourages you to find your own passion in spontaneity and anticipation!
Are you supposed to have an orgasm every time you have sex? Ducky Doolittle answers this question with an emphatic “No!” in this clip. She talks about having a broader definition of what sex is and also what it is for. If the goal is “to feel good” and “to be close with my partner” it can take a lot of pressure off both people. It also prevents the temptation to “fake” anything, which doesn’t do anyone any good in the long run.
Most people focus on the genitals and secondary areas like the nipples, according to Ducky, when they’re talking about sex. However, there are many more places that can turn you on, and she tries to get to each and every one in this clip! Starting from the pc muscles essential to everyone’s orgasm and working all the way out to the tips of the hair, Ducky talks about the many ways you and your partner can explore the intimacy of turning each other on.
Ducky often asks her audiences if anyone has ever received a compliment on their cock, their pussy, some intimate part. The reactions are often shocked, but there are a few people…and they always say it made them feel great. Ducky suggests in this clip both the reasons and the ways to affirm for your partner the things you like about them. After all, she says, if you don’t, who will?
You know those beautiful love scenes in the movies where both partners cum at the same time and then bask in the afterglow? Ducky’s here to let you know that’s not the way it happens most of the time – and that’s ok. She also explains why you probably shouldn’t settle for “simultaneous orgasms” anyway!
Communication is both one of the most essential and most difficult parts of a sexual relationship. Asking for what you want – or explaining to a partner how what you want may have changed – can be a tricky process. Ducky has some solid suggestions for how to make it easier and even fun, bringing flirtation into the process and helping you really get what you want out of your sexual relationship.
Thinking of sex as simply penis inserted in vagina is very limiting, in Ducky’s opinion. She explains in this clip how sex is more a state of mind and an attitude. It’s all in the way you connect first with yourself and then with your partner, from the moment you wake up through all the actions of the day. It’s a very exciting viewpoint that she shares in this clip, and worth exploring for yourself.
Ducky explains about the “happy hormone”: oxytocin. She goes into how the body uses it for all sorts of things, from friendship to parenting but especially as part of sex. By understanding how oxytocin works Ducky thinks you can give yourself better orgasms and also understand the biomechanical and emotional reactions for both yourself and your partner.
Menstruation is often considered a taboo subject. Ducky doesn’t think it should be – and she uses this clip to explain how a good understanding of a woman’s monthly cycle can augment your sex life and give both partners more pleasure.
Now that she’s covered so many useful terms, Ducky uses this clip to talk about one that’s just made up: Female Sexual Dysfunction. She explains how this phrase has been created by pharmaceutical companies as a way to market pills. Ducky, on the other hand, is with the rest of the experts here at PassionateU to help you be more aware of your own sexual pleasure and body, regardless of what the marketers are trying to sell.
In a hyper-connected and “quantified self” society it’s easy to try and judge our own sex drives by what we think other people are doing. Ducky’s here to say that’s not a good idea. Averages do not give a realistic picture of what is actually going on in everyday life, and every person’s libido goes through cycles of increased or decreased activity. She explains that it’s possible to love both your own cycle of desire and your partner’s, and know that whatever your desire level is, it is part of you and not a judgement on anything else.
Ducky explains exactly what people mean when they talk about multiple orgasms in terms of physiology. The muscular contractions are basically only different in terms of rate, she says, and shares with you the results of her years of research into the subject.
Ducky reminds you in this clip that men aren’t from Mars, women aren’t from Venus – we’re all right here on Earth, and there are fewer differences between us than you’d think. In fact, one out of every two thousand babies is born “intersex” – with both sexual characteristics. She outlines just how similar men and women are, and also how the minor differences result in some pretty significant changes in how each sex gets aroused. Erectile tissue is the key, and Ducky talks about it in depth to give you a better understanding of the anatomy of desire.
Next in her series Ducky tackles a common problem with long-term relationships: falling into the same old habits sexually. She explains the basic human psychology behind why we slip into a routine with our sexuality, even if that’s “tonight we’re going to do it on the chandelier again“. A rut is a rut, and if you’re looking to change things up a bit Ducky has some solid suggestions you can try out right away.
One of the most common questions Ducky gets are from women who want to know how to orgasm solely from penetration of their vulva by a penis. The problem is that there is no magic bullet; 76% of women need more stimulation than simple penetration. Ducky suggests that by broadening the definition of sex to include all the wonderful ways to stimulate a body you can stop worrying and just enjoy your orgasm the way it works for you.
Vaginal, clitoral, g-spot, extended – there are many different kinds of orgasms talked about in popular culture. It brings up the question: how do I get these kinds of orgasms? Or even: Am I having the right orgasm? Ducky reassures you in this clip: yes, your orgasm is fine, because there is, in fact, only one kind of orgasm. There are, however, many different ways to trigger the orgasm, and she goes over how and why you might want to try out different techniques.
Ducky has explained in many clips that orgasms involve involuntary contractions of muscles, and that the stronger those muscles are, the better the orgasms get. In this clip she goes over several kinds of toys designed specifically to build those muscles – from the ben-wa balls made famous by “50 Shades of Grey” to silicone and steel toys shaped especially for the body. Ducky also describes how they are used and the benefits you can expect when you add them to your toy collection.
In this very personal and passionate clip Ducky talks about one of the biggest and most important parts of a woman’s orgasmic potential: the muscles of the pelvic floor. Not only does she talk about them, she also gives a very personal example of why they are worth exercising through kegels and other techniques. Ducky also explains why it’s a good idea to breath more deeply during sex so that you can have more powerful orgasms.
This clip helps cover two subjects that Ducky commonly talks to women about. First is the idea that how wet a woman is indicates how aroused she is (short answer: sometimes, not always). Second is about various kinds of lubricants that are good to have on hand to help make sex more fun and easy. She also talks about some safety and hygiene concerns to keep in mind for a happy pussy.
Ducky takes a moment in this clip to talk about the relatively uncommon experience of having someone pay a compliment to your pussy. She describes how various women in the workshops have reacted to this, and uses it as an example of the importance of loving communication between partners.
Squirting, or “female ejaculation” as Ducky doesn’t like to call it, is a big deal in porn, in popular media, and sometimes between partners. However, there’s a lot of misinformation and misunderstanding about what it it, where it comes from, and how it happens. Using charts, toys, and her own cheerfully accessible way of explaining things Ducky sets the record straight. She even goes a bit into the history of sexual science to explain why squirting has been neglected for so long.
In this short clip Ducky answers a question she hears a lot: why is there sometimes a stabbing pain during intercourse? With the help of a diagram she explains how a strong thrust inside might be hitting the cervix during ovulation, and that can cause some discomfort. Of course she adds that the best way to figure it out is to see your OB-GYN and ask them directly, but this clip can at least give you some idea.
Now that you know how to find your g-spot, there’s a whole range of sex toys designed for the sole purpose of stimulating it. Ducky goes through a range from cock-like dildos to high-tech insertable vibes with special controllers. It’s in your best interest to try several since she points out that a sex toy is a personal preference – so there’s no telling which one will be just right for you!