Profile

 

Anita Wagner

Polyamory Educator, Advocate and Spokesperson
Business: PracticalPolyamory.com
Location: Washington, DC
Contact:
Email
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anita.wagner@practicalpolyamory.com


Faculty Member
Biography:
Anita Wagner advocates for the interests of polyamorists with enthusiasm and determination, and loves to help them find joy and happiness by providing helpful information in her educational programs on subjects like poly and spirituality, jealousy and other pitfalls, poly/mono relationships, and poly for kinky people. For over 14 years she has presented programs on polyamory relationship skills and advocacy at many sex-positive, kink and polyamory events.

Anita regularly works with members of the media and has been quoted in news articles on Newsweek.com and Salon.com, in the Baltimore Sun, the Washington Post, and the Chicago Sun-Times, amongst others. She is also an avid blogger via the Practical Polyamory Blog.
Specialties:
Polyamory relationship skills and advocacy
Experience:
Anita has presented workshops on polyamory relationship skills and advocacy at Good Vibrations, Sex 2.0, Dark Odyssey, Black Rose, Building Bridges, Free Spirit Alliances’ Beltane Gathering and Fires of Venus, Florida Poly Retreat, Transcending Boundaries, Poly Living and the Loving More® Conferences. In addition to these events, her 2010 schedule includes presentations at CAPEX, The Floating World, and Washington Area Secular Humanists. She’s a member of the Polyamory Leadership Network and serves as poly community advisor to CARAS – the Community-Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualities. She also serves on the Board of Directors of Loving More® and Unitarian Universalists for Polyamory Awareness. She’s a veteran community organizer and co-founder of Chesapeake Polyamory Network and the Institute for 21st Century Relationships, which is the foundation of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (“NCSF”). She is a former NCSF board member as well.
Recent Comments:
So glad to see part 2 of this series has been posted. I am pretty sure that some who view it and consider the questions to consider when evaluating one's self or one's partner for possible sex addiction will quite understandably take issue with some of the questions that appear to indicate that certain practices equate sex addiction, especially those around risk taking. This is ONLY the case if the risk being taken is not being taken safely, sanely and consensually. Again, I am only talking about behaviors that leave a person feeling bad about themselves and their interest in and practice of them. Even then, if bad feelings come from a sense of guilt and shame that is based on general cultural sex-negativity and *not* on having compromised a relationship or someone's sexual health - in other words, if no harm has come from it - this would not be behavior that is in and of itself an indicator of sex addiction. Feel free to leave any questions here or to write to me at Anita.Wagner@practicalpolyamory.com and I'll do my best to answer them. - The Shadow Side of Eros: Sex Addiction/Compulsion – Part 2
Mstred - Your questions are very commonly raised when I talk about this subject. As I say in the video, I am definitely NOT talking about someone just likes to have a lot of sex, because that is definitely NOT sex addiction. Sex addiction, in a nutshell, is a compulsion to engage in risky sexual behavior - not kink practices, but behavior and a process that clearly and increasingly and seriously endangers sexual health, employment, relationships, etc.. Typically the addict knows the risks and wants to stop and does for a while but the cycle of seeking sex (of whatever form) begins again and off they go. They feel awful about deceiving their loved ones and often live a shadow life of which they are very much ashamed. I hope we can agree that none of that, though increasingly common, is normal. And yes, it is indeed primarily a male condition. The statistics are 80% are men and 20% are women. Typically the women are love and sex addicts, women who have affairs for the thrill of seduction and the rush of emotion in the beginning. Why more men? It has to do with the availability of sexual imagery and services on the internet, and men being the sexual creatures that they are, gravitate toward it. Until the mid 90s sex addiction wasn't nearly so common, but a fraction of internet users couldn't and can't handle it. The incident of people seeking treatment has skyrocketed and continues to increase. This isn't to vilify the addict, not at all. But the point is that sex addicts don't behave in healthy sexual ways and need help. The good news is that they can heal what drives them to it emotionally with some therapy and intention. I did two or three episodes on this subject that are yet to be put up here. When they are, I hope they make where I'm going more clear. In the meantime, thanks for your comments and interest. - The Shadow Side of Eros: Sex Addiction/Compulsion – Part 1
There is indeed a part 2, maybe a part 3, they just haven't been posted yet, but I'm glad you found part 1 useful. - Jealousy in Polyamorous Relationships – Part 1
Amy, thanks so much for this self-lacing primer. I am the lucky owner of one of your gorgeous brocade corsets purchased by my honey as a gift from Kali at Passional at Dark Odyssey Winter Fire this past February. I never had an interest in corsets and thought they'd be uncomfortable, but it's just the opposite. It feels great on, I look sensational in it, and I'm a big girl. I get many, many compliments when I wear it and feel sexy as hell in it. But I don't always have someone around to help with the lacing, and I don't want that to keep me from wearing it when I want to, so I plan to start practicing soon using your tips in this video. - How to Self-Lace a Corset

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