There are 2 habits that should be prioritized when it comes to building an fulfilling, interesting sex life. The first is communication the second is a willingness to explore.
Usually we have at least one of four responses to new sexual ideas: major interest, interest, not interested, or repulsed. It’s important that you figure out which is when thinking about expanding your bedroom adventures and where those responses are coming from.
Sometimes our response comes from learned responses, such as a reaction that’s been learned from respected figures in our lives (parents, religious guides, friends, ex’s) and those should be carefully examined to see if your own deep inner self agrees with those responses. Don’t just accept what you’ve been told is the “right” way to enjoy sex. If you want to create the sex life that turns YOU on, then make sure you’re not missing out on an erotic activity because of ingrained ideas.
If you’re interested by not overly excited, that’s a perfect opportunity to stretch your boundaries. You don’t have to go all the way, for example if you’re used to having the lights off every time you have sex, start with candle light (moved safely away from flailing hands and legs!) or turn on a light in the hallway or the next room with the door cracked open. The point is to give it a shot. See what your reaction is. If you can, try it at least twice and you’ll have a good idea of whether you want to incorporate it into your sexual play.
If you’re really interested but have never experienced something before, then definitely give it a go! Like before, it’s still a good idea to take it slow, it’s easier to keep moving forward than trying to move backward. Use your fantasies to get all worked up and then start off the new exciting sexiness. Let’s say the idea of being spanked really gets your erotic motor going. You can start with whispering what those fantasies are during your usual bedroom playtime. Then try a few spanking slaps and see how that feels. You’ll know pretty quick how strong that interest is!
This can be helpful whether you’re just getting to know each other erotically or whether you’re re-kindling your sexual connection. The bottom line is that you should never do anything which you’ve drawn a hard “no thank you” but being, at the very least, open to everything else might result in a more intense sexual experience for both you and your partner. Be a “Try”-Sexual and see what fun you can have!