Feb 072013

Communicating About Sex

Talking about our sexual desires isn’t something that’s usually taught in communication classes. Finding a healthy, comfortable way to speak openly about your fantasies and sexual needs is a vital part of having a great sex life. Like anything, practice helps, you’ll get better the more you do it. But first you have to get started. If you’ve never addressed these things openly then here are some suggestions to get the ball rolling. Even if you’re already sharing your sexy thoughts with your partner then hopefully you’ll find some new ideas to take away and improve your communication.

If you have a hard time communicating face to face, there are a lot of options to work your way up to that! As long as you’re expressing your sexual desires in a way that is accessible to your partner then that’s the important part.

1)      The first step is learning the language of sexual expression. You might be using words that have never before been ‘appropriate’ to use. In fact, I hope you’re using those kinds of words! It’s important that you find descriptions and phrases that you feel comfortable with, but push yourself at least a little ways beyond your comfort zone. It’s the only way you’ll build your ‘sexual vocabulary’.

2)      For some, writing words down is much easier than saying them out loud. There’s a variety of ways you can use this to your benefit. Keeping a two-person journal can make your writing a ‘conversation’. First one of you write some thoughts & desires, then you give it to your partner to read what you wrote before they contribute their own ideas & fantasies. They don’t have to be lengthy entries, but of course write as much as you need to. As you give it back & forth you will develop an intimacy and a feeling of open communication about your sex life.

3)      Another way of using text is through email or texts. Again, you can keep it short (with texts, you have to!), it’s just a simple way of keeping that sexual connection going. Fantasies can be concise, just to share the idea of what gets you hot. Safety Warning! Make sure you’re not using company email or phones! With some companies it’s actually illegal but regardless it’s just a dangerous practice. Keep your sex life private when it comes to work exposure.

4)      Phone conversations can give you ‘just enough’ distance to open up your secret sexy wants. Again, make sure that you’re able to be private enough to speak freely, without interruption. It can have a ‘dirty talk’ approach using sensual  voices while describing your fantasy as a story. Or you can simply have a conversation, sharing secret desires to make them not-so-secret anymore.

5)      When you’re together in the dark, at night before going to bed, when the day is done, it’s a great time to get those verbal juices flowing. It doesn’t have to lead to physical sex, just let your ears ride the erotic wave *wink* making sure that you do have some skin to skin contact though. You don’t want to lay side by side, not touching and feeling awkward about sharing your intimate wishes. Just like all of these communication styles, it’s meant to build intimacy so let the connection between you grow at your own pace, using whatever style works for you both.

Hopefully these techniques will lead you towards feeling more comfortable talking about your desires with your partner face to face, whether by candlelight or over breakfast or however you do. When you are able to be open with your power with what turns you on, you have a much better chance of actually experiencing what turns you on! Don’t focus only on orgasm though, foreplay and post-coital needs are important too. Just get talking, you sex life will improve exponentially!





Hi there! We'd love for you to enter PassionateU.com,
but we need to let you know that there might be some nudity and explicit sexuality.
Are you 18 or over? And you agree to our Terms and Conditions?

Awesome! Click our logo in the upper left to get your education started.

Not yet 18? Why not check out some comprehensive sex-ed for young adults instead?






The information in this website is presented by individuals who speak from their own experiences to provide insight into various techniques that consenting adults can use to explore, expand, or enrich their sexual experience. The presenters are not experts and only speak from their own experience. The techniques they present may not be suitable for every person. Therefore, the tips and information provided in this website, with the exception of the safety standards and precautions, should be viewed as a general guide.

The information contained in this website is broadly categorized in three parts: Basic Sexuality Skills and Role Play; Intermediate Sexuality Skills and Role Play; Advanced Sexuality Skills, BDSM and Role Play.

The information provided in all the parts is intended for consenting adults interested in exploring and expanding their sexuality by using different techniques and through role plays.

  • Basic Sexuality and Role Play: Basic sexuality skills can be practiced and enjoyed by beginners as well as experienced individuals.

  • Intermediate Sexuality Skills and Role Play: The use of any of the illustrated techniques categorized as Intermediate by individuals without prior experience or without the supervision of an experienced player is not appropriate and, therefore, not recommended.

  • Advanced Sexuality Skills, BDSM and Role Play: The use of any of the illustrated techniques categorized as Advanced by individuals without at least two years of prior training and/or experience or the supervision of an experienced individual in domination/role play is not appropriate and therefore not recommended.


The educational tips and techniques provided and illustrated in this website contain many potentially harmful and even deadly materials.

Strict adherence to the safety precautions is necessary for safe and appropriate use of each item. Failure to follow the necessary procedures outlined for the activities described herein may result in serious bodily injury and can even be fatal. The information is intended for use only by adults who are physically and mentally healthy. Anyone with a medical condition or disease, physical, mental or otherwise, should refrain from participating in these activities.

Furthermore, the use of some or all of the items described or illustrated in this website may constitute a violation of a criminal code in various jurisdictions. Some jurisdictions do not excuse the use of items considered to be inherently dangerous even in a consensual setting.

By entering this website you certify all of the following:

  • You are at least 18 years of age and have the legal right to possess and view adult material in your community. You agree not to share any of the material contained in this site with anyone under the age of 18.

  • You agree that you are aware of and understand the standards and laws of the community, site, and computer to which you are transporting this material, and are solely responsible for own actions.

  • If you use these services in violation of the this agreement, you understand that you may be in violation of local, state and/or federal laws and that you are solely responsible for my actions.

  • You agree that you are accessing this site for private viewing and that you do not find images of nude adults, adult sexual material or images, adults engaged in sexual acts, or any other related sexual material to be offensive or objectionable.

  • By clicking "Enter" you agree to release and discharge the providers, owners and creators of this site as well as all contributors on the site from any and all liability which might arise, directly or indirectly, from your access to this website or use of the information contained in the website.

  • You agree to follow all of the precautions described for each activity before, during, and after each activity as specifically provided.

  • You agree not to engage in the activities described without ensuring the status of your own good health and the medical condition of the other participants.

  • You agree not to engage in activities that are prohibited by the jurisdiction in which you reside.

  • You further agree to release and discharged the educators, providers, owners and creators of this site from any and all liability that might arise from my use of any of the techniques or information contained in this website.